Living A “Dammed” Life
4 11 2007I was watching a show the other day that was exploring the extreme structures known as “dams” and what happens when they break apart and collapse. Wikipedia defines a dam as a barrier across flowing water that obstructs, directs or slows down the flow, often creating a reservoir, lake or impoundments.
It was a really amazing show but it made me think about how close life can sometimes be compared to a dam. At first a dam slows down the flow but over time the dam builds up so much resistance and pressure that it can begin to crack. One crack leads to another and, if left unattended, can result in the entire structure collapsing… with often devastating results. When the dam breaks, it doesn’t just affect the dam but all those downstream in its path.
Sound familiar?
Are you living a “dammed” life? Have you built up barriers or walls to “slow down” or “retain” the hurt, anxiety or fear you’ve encountered? Has this barrier created a reservoir of these hurts and hang ups that are now building more and more pressure in your life?
Are you starting to crack?
Unlike a dam that takes millions of dollars and concrete to fix, you can be repaired with just a simple word. It’s called “forgiveness.” Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hurts that are building up in our lives. Forgiveness releases the pressure. Forgiveness lets life flow again and stops it from building behind a wall.
Forgiveness offers hope. Hope in the grace that can restore even the deepest of cracks or wounds.
But what does practicing forgiveness really look like? How do you forgive when you can’t seem to forget?
Share your thoughts by leaving a comment here and we’ll explore practical forgiveness more next week.
I believe that forgiveness always starts with a choice. When you forgive someone it releases you from being controlled by that particular circumstance, hurt or unfairness any longer. When you forgive someone, you’re not saying that what they did, or what happened is ok, but you are making the choice not to allow it to have an effect on the rest of your life and future. You can either choose to nurse the hurt, replay it over and over again in your mind, choose to hold a grudge, or unforgiveness in your heart - which poisons you, or you can make the choice to forgive. I think one of the saddest things that happens in many situations, is that you have walked in unforgiveness for years - waiting for the guilty party to apologize, only to find out that they weren’t even aware that they had hurt you. What a waste of precious time and energy. It takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge! It’s much easier to lay it down, and choose not to pick it up again!
Forgiveness is all about forgetting that someone has step on your feet. We should learn from JESUS the master of forgiveness.and is not everybody that can forgive accept the person is borne again thru the grace of God in the person’s life that will make the person to forgive ans forget. like JESUS taught us how to forgive and why we should forgive in {KJV} Matthew chapter 6:16,Gen50:17,matt 5:23,Mark11:25luke11:4,2cor 2:7 Eph4:34 Col3:13 Rom12:16 i belive by the time you go thru this verses you will see the reason why we need forgiveness.By practical Matt 6:1to the end.
God Bless you all.
Yes. Forgiven one self f and the forgiveness of those who hurt you is actually the dose needed to move from the dam forward. Especially, self forgiveness. I find myself easily forgiven those who hurt me than myself very often. I could not forgive myself for two main wrongs I’ve done myself, and at times find it difficult to forgive those who also hurt me grievously. But most offten I esily forgive those who hurt me than myself. Even when I confess my sin over and over and again; for I still bear the scars of sinning against myself. But I can now say that am overcoming that now than before. Thank God for this grace. Forgiveness is very much important in our Christian life. Thanks.
In reading about the show describing “extreme” dams, and the subsequent analogy, my mind wandered to the well where Jesus encounters the Samaritan woman. it was there that Jesus told her about the “living water” she would receive through belief that He is the Son of God. The “dams” in my life are the shortcomings and sin that blocks the flow of this living water. The grace of God flows into my soul, and unless I gratefully share this gift, I am selfishly building a “dam” designed to keep it all to myself. Eventually, however, my self-centered barrier will burst, for who can resist the grace of God? Jesus always finds a way to break through my internal “dams,” so that the living water of merciful love may continue flowing thorugh, and beyond His humbled, grateful servant.
i had difficulties dealing with forgiveness to unforgiving persons. there are guys whom i would like to forgive and forget but they are not ready for the forgiveness and even ready to forgive me instead theycontinue hurting me more. how do i handle such situatuions?
forgiveness is forgeting the hurts other might have caused u.
PLEASE: Chinedu have giving his life to christ. In need your prayer to cary on
in this christian race. to become more commited to the direction of the Holy Spirit. thank you for all your word of encouragement.
I pray that my God will supply all your need finacially to carry on in this
wonderful program. i will also request of you any christian noval i love reading.
may God bless you all in Jesus name Amen
Forgiveness is God himself, it always hard to forgive but my brother you can not do by your own strenght ask God his grace he will do it for you in Jesus name Amen.
Forgiveness is God himself, it always hard to forgive but my brother you can not do it by your own strenght ask God his grace he will do it for you in Jesus name Amen.
Yes indeed.. It is in Christ where we can experience what foriveness really is. Therefore God the father and the Son (Christ) is the epitome of forgiveness.
sometimes I just sit and wonder how God’s love is because, I find myself sometimes doing wrongs before him, but to my amezement even if I go before God with all the Filthness, He is always there to listen tome….He forgives and then His grace is sufficient for us. In His forgiveness one really understands that “Grace is getting what you don’t deserve and mercy is not getting what you deserve. Thanks God bless.
Learning to let go of past hurts, resentments, bitterness towards others, especially family was a life changing experience. These things kept me in bondage to drugs for 20 years…..then I met Jesus. Who am I to hold On to these things when Jesus died a brutal death so MY Sins can be forgiven! What a wake up call! Today, when unforgiveness tries to seep in, I look to the cross. I See ONLY LOVE! That Love Saved Me! Today, I walk in VICTORY, drug and bitterness free for 7 years. God still sits on the throne and He still performs miracles!
Well perhaps you can forgive me for not buying it. I think people should be responsible for their actions. If you live your live convinced that there is something up in the sky that will make sure you don’t get hurt, if you only close your eyes, then you will surely get hit by a proverbial car when you are crossing the street. If there are people, habits, etc. in your life that hurt you then you should distance yourself from them. Forgiveness only invites more of what you are forgiving them for.
And as for being forgiven for your “sins”, my father put it to me this way when I was a child. “The problem with prayer is you can pray for a new toy and hope that you get it, or you can steal the toy and just pray to be forgiven.” He then went on you give me a talk on how a to be respectable man. None of that talk involved pawning responsibility or accountability off by just praying to be forgiven.
Agnos, while it is good to be a responsible person, and live life in a way that is upright and just, and fair, we still have to be forgiven…… first….. by our Heavenly Father…….because none of us are without sin……even if we spend our entire life trying to do good, the one thing that God looks for when he looks at us, is the blood of his son, Jesus. without it, all our goodness is as filthy rags, compared to his righteousness. We as people cannot fathom the holiness of God, but, we cannot make the mistake of trying to offer up to him, our lives as a sacrifice, without the blood being applied. Once we understand our need of forgiveness, we have no problem giving forgiveness to others.
James, sometimes we do struggle trying to be able to forgive someone, but, God can and will help us, if we will oursleves to do so, because he requires it in his word. If we want to be forgiven, we have to forgive. And that person may never be ready to be forgiven, and he may not see the need of it, but, we ourselves are in need to forgive, if we have Jesus in our hearts, and our minds are stayed upon trying to please him and serve him. He does not tell us that we should stay around someone that continues to hurt us, and he does not intend for us to be doormats. Is it possible to forgive and move on? You will be the better for it, if you can. Releasing what others have done to us, to God, brings healing and peace of mind. He can take care of the issue, because that is what he wants us to do with it, give it to him, and walk in peace. That is a wonderful trade !!!!
Hello My Name is Shirley,
In your article you spoke of forgiveness. About 2 years ago I was hurt very deeply by my best friend. I have forgiven her because I knew in my heart that being a christian I have to have forgiveness for others no matter what and it is the right thing to do. We do not have a relationship any longer, but when we do see each other we speak but when I see her I feel the hurt all over again. Can you explain this to me? Thank You…….Shirley
forgive and not forget because you don’t want to repeat the same mistake. And forgive because you realize that you really love more than you hurt or hate or remember past pain and hurt.
It is indeed a good thing to forgive. The Bible clearly states that categorically in the book Mathew Chapter 6v12-14, Mk 4v12,11v25-26, Lk 3v3, 7v36, that we should forgive before we can pray, offer our sacrifices or giving offering in the house of God. But sincerely speaking it is not an easy task to just say YES I have fogiven someone who hurt you so teribly. It becomes very difficult especialy, when this person still goes about making boast about it.
It is is an issue that require total commitment to God for help. We sure need the help of God to forgive and let go.
I have been terribly hurted in the past and that seriously draw me back by a supposed friend, a church member. I went thru a very terrible assault and humiliation, but now I am free from that embarrassment but the scar that was letf behind in my heart are still very fresh. What do I do.
Sometimes after we might have forgiven the person, we still remember the hurt if the person happens to hurt you again. And we often take precursion from such people and sometimes we avoid them.
In any case forgiveness; is a commandment, and when ye pray and remember that you have an oath against any, settle with the person first before and forgive completely for you to also be forgiven by God, It is to free oneself also. It becomes very crucial in the life of a beliver to indeed forgive for his or her prayers to be answered or heard by God.
It is a good thing to forgive and let go completely.
Patrick
On the question of , ‘ How do you forgive when you can’t seem to forget?’, here’s something to think about:
I once read that forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free only to find that you were the prisoner.
It’s okay to resist evil but sometimes in resisting we don’t realise that we are giving power to that which is evil. Forgiveness is not something we should strive for, but rather we should realise that upon recieving the Holy Spirit to take over our lives, we recieve as a by-product, the ability to forgive others as we would indeed be forgiven.
When we realise that it is by God’s grace that we are saved and not by works, it will be easy to see that God loved us before we were perfect therefore we can do the same for others. This is the true meaning of unconditional love, Jesus said, ” A new commandment I give unto you that you love one another as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another.”
With love therefore, it should be easy that we forgive those who have done us wrong and be joyful that perhaps they too will forgive us the wrong we have done though we were not aware of it.
Peace!
What do you do when you forgive someone and the person keeps doing the same thing that hurts you, using it to get back at you. Most especially when it is you wife. She is not only insultive, she causes you, don’t see anything good in you, manipulates you. Pls i need your prayers. Faith
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